Dear Conrad -- I go to a Southern Baptist church but I don't understand why people judge each other so strongly. Matthew 7:1-5 explains it all yet my church is upset with the fact that I'm a radical (well for them anyway). I'm a pretty conservative Christian but I have my eyebrow pierced, I have a tattoo and I wear shorts, because of that and a few minor extras my youth pastor, pastor, and even the deacons have shunned me.

I just don't see why people can't worship God the way they want to without getting judged by fellow Christians! I'm a firm believer in Christ and nothing is going to take that away but what am I supposed to do? After I leave that church for college I want others like me to be able to enter those doors and not feel the eyes of hatred and scorn! Any advice on this situation you can give would be awesome, thanks a lot!! God Bless. -suasi

Dear Suasi,

Church leaderships have their own standards or rules of conduct whether written or unwritten. Christ delegates the governance of local churches to a group of elders, (undershepherds) which in you case is the board of deacons. They are accountable to Him. Some churches are more strict in general physical appearance or dress code than others.

If you like your church, you can simply dress up for church just how we dress up for weddings and job interviews because it’s appropriate. But, if they still judge you, then it’s more than just dressing inappropriately for that church culture and it crosses the line into being judgmental.

About changing their minds or the church for people like you in the future – that’s a little harder. People are resistant to change. And in some cases it’s just better to find (or point people to) another church than to cause disruption in that one.