Dear Conrad -- My girlfriend has a lot of trouble with showing her emotions. For example, she has told me that when she is in a time of prayer and worship, she has an extremely hard time putting any emotion into it. She knows she has this problem, and she hates it, but for some reason, she is unable to put emotion into her worship and prayer. Do you have any advice to give about this? – Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

The word “emotion” is a problematic term because it could mean many things. Showing emotion isn’t necessarily always a good thing. There are many emotions that are bad.

What I think you mean to ask is that maybe she’s just going through the motions in prayer and doesn’t feel a connection with God during prayer or worship – even though she would like to.

Worship is based in love – the return of our love to the one who first loved us.

“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

The more mature our understanding of God gets the more mature our love and worship of him becomes. Love isn’t merely an emotion – it is understanding, belief as well as action.

Let’s take a child as an example. A four year old does not understand the extent of his or her parent’s love. The parents must sacrifice countless amounts of time, money and emotion. The child does not understand what a job is, what sacrifice is, where toys come from, what the parents had to give up to afford toys, food, clothing and shelter for the child. Therefore the child’s love of the parents is immature.

It’s the same with our love of God. During our worship of him we appreciate what he has done for us. We must consider the sacrifice he made, the suffering he went through, his faithfulness to us even though we sin, his plan for our lives, his desire to have a relationship with us, etc.

The more we know and believe about God, the more we are able to feel love for him. Love isn’t merely an emotion – it is understanding, belief and action.

Knowing that - to have a more loving worship and prayer life we must seek to understand God more. This involves personal study, devotion, church, etc. That’s the whole point of all those things – to know God more and in a deeper, more mature way.