Undoubtedly the saddest album I have ever heard…

 

Artist: Antony & the Johnsons

Album: I Am A Bird Now
Label: Secretly Canadian
Tracks: 10
Length: 35:27

 

This is one of the most heart wrenching albums I have ever heard. It’s so full of real pain that the album itself is almost a sidenote to the lyrics.

 

I’m not really sure what the correct terminology is here so I’m going to say that Antony is “gender confused” (or at the very least writing incredibly well from that standpoint). As the cover shows him in drag and all of the songs focus on this boy wanting so desperately to be free of his uncomfortable body so that he may become a woman, I’m going to assume this is tremendously personal.

 

The music here is piano based and very soft but so full of pain that you are overwhelmed by it. The spotlight here shines squarely on Antony’s voice and lyrics, true to singer/songwriter form but it also has a tinge of soul interspersed throughout the songs, not unlike a toned down Boy George. As a matter of fact there are a lot of parallels that can be drawn with Boy George- particularly his work on “The Crying Game.” There is also some mild backing orchestration that gives the songs a grandiose feel, yet, amazingly, never makes them sound pretentious. Some heavyweight guests appear here including the aforementioned Boy George, rock legend Lou Reed, indie icon Devandra Barnhart, and Rufus Wainwright. 

 

This album has nearly brought me to tears numerous times since I began spinning it. Songs like “For Today I am a Boy,” “Bird Girl,” and “What Can I Do?” are beautiful and intimate, yet I have to admit a certain uncomfortable feeling as the words hit my ears. This album is a hard listen. It’s full of pain, sadness, and desperation yet tremendously powerful and creative. I still don’t know what to think but I certainly hope Antony is one day freed of the things that cause him this pain.