Artist: Buffseeds
Album: The Picture Show
Label: Fantastic Plastic
Tracks: 12
Length: 41:37
Review by: Mike “Ingenious Abs” Leech

You know those really high cable channels that just play music all the time? And you know the one called “Adult Alternative” that always has the cheesy, watered-down “elevator rock” going? Well if you turn it there right now, there’s a pretty good chance they’ll be playing something off of this.

According to their press release, “Buffseeds are a UK quartet who manage to combine delicate depth and beauty with tormenting power.” I was originally planning on making fun of this description, but after reading through it again I think it pretty much takes care of itself. The only thing Buffseeds manage to combine are false hope and mediocrity. The Picture Show is a painfully bland and repetitive album with absolutely no bite or personality.

Vocally, Kieran Scragg would be a dead ringer for Sigur Ros' Jon Thor Birgisson if he didn‘t sound quite so drowsy and detached. The accompanying music compliments his voice well, sounding every bit as tired and insincere. It’s like they’re trying to play Radiohead covers after downing bottles of NyQuil. These guys make Train sound intense.

Though criticizing this band is by no means a difficult task, in fairness it should be pointed out that The Picture Show is nowhere near the musical equivalent of having a flaming brick hit you in the throat. Scragg’s vocals may leave a little to be desired, but the guy can actually carry a tune pretty well. Also “Sparkle Me” and “Riot” are both almost good songs. Plus, the whole album is so formulaic and uninteresting that it would probably make for some killer background music.

If you’ve ever found yourself uttering a sentence like this one before... “I kinda like Coldplay, but they’re a little too "experimental" for me,” then I'd like to introduce you to your new favorite band.