(In comic book guy voice) Worst. EP. Ever!

Artist: Goons of Doom
EP: Bikey Zomby EP
Label: Volcom Entertainment
Tracks: 5
Length: 21:25
Review by: John Durkee

Sigh... we've all had friends who started a horrible garage punk band. We went to one of their "shows" in their parents back yard, or went to that one show where they played while the real bands were preparing to get on stage. We went. We humored them. We told them that they were alright and maybe even just lied and said they were good, but deep down we knew they sucked.

Goons of Doom are another one of those bands. Garage punk performed so bad that it's hard to believe that someone actually recorded this crap. The first four songs on the EP are full of stupid lyrics, the same chords and to say their derivative is like saying the ocean is big. It’s self evident, but unlike the ocean, Goons of Doom are useless and boring.

The last track on the EP attempts to be “artistic” and cool, clocking in at 10:37, and is a very poor attempt at perhaps copying the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s? If so, it’s a very constipated version of YYY, as the song just does not end.

This is a painfully long release, and it’s only 21:25! This is easily the worst album I’ve ever reviewed and the worst album I’ve ever heard. The lyrics like using the same 4 letter words and just make me feel sorry for the author of them. Perhaps one could take it as a campy release, but the immaturity involved makes it only funny to a grade school kid.

Conclusion: This album sucks. Don’t buy it, and don’t even take it if it’s free.