Hey yo.  The Dark Forest is now for sale, get it.  At least download one of the songs here.  Then listen to it, then buy it.  I also wrote a FAQ about it here. 

 

I’ve only been writing and recording this opera for two years now so make me feel like I haven’t been wasting my time.  Time I could have spent playing video games or eating beef like products.  

 

In other news…

 

“JULIA AND CONRAD DELIVER MOVIE THEATER JUSTICE”

 

So Julia and I went to go see some movie called, “Open Water” which was about the worst movie ever.  Even worse than Matrix 2 & 3.  So we’re like watching the movie, since that’s what you’re supposed to do.  Watching a movie does not involve talking.  Talking is an audible form of communication.  You also cannot control where sound waves go, so if you are using this form of audible communication, other people who have auditory receptacles (called “ears” for the layman) will be able to hear you. 

 

When you pay for a movie, you pay to watch the movie – not to hear other people talk.  If I wanted to hear people talk, I could do that for free. 

 

So the movie starts and there’s this couple sitting a couple rows behind us using the audible form of communication I referenced earlier.  Now they’re not talking about the movie.  They’re just having some regular conversation.  So Julia goes “SHHHH!”  Then the lady goes, “SHHHHH!” right back.  Then Julia goes “SHHHH!” again.  Then the lady says something like, “I can’t believe that [bad word] girl just told me to SHHH”.  So Julia gets up to get management.  I get up to politely ask these people to be quiet. 

 

So I get over there and these people are like 55 years old!  You think they would know better.  I politely say, “Could you please keep it down.  Thank you.” 

 

Then she goes, “What, we’re not allowed to laugh.”  So I’m thinking, “I didn’t know people laughed in complete sentences,” but I just said, “Please keep it down.  Thank you.” 

 

So I turn to walk away, then she says, “[Bad word] you, [more bad words].”  Okay, so that’s enough.  I went and sat down right behind them.  The dude jumped up out of his seat and the woman turned around so fast she didn’t have time to use profanity.  And I just sat there, cross my legs and sat there, and looked at them.  I didn’t do anything.  This went on for about a minute.  Then they got up and moved further back and to the side.

 

During this time Julia had gotten management.  She asked this one girl to have these people kicked out.  But the girl asked another girl there if she could do “this one.”  It’s because in the showing before ours, someone else was being loud and had to get kicked out.  The cops actually had to show up.  (We passed them on the way in). 

 

So Julia and I are back at our seats and I hear management come in and tell the people to leave.  And I hear, “What?  We’re not allowed to laugh?”  After more commotion, they are forced to leave. 

 

VICTORY!  SWEET VICTORY!

 

Julia and I struck a blow at the monster that is rude moviegoers.  All other rude moviegoers felt a slight tinge that day because they are all connected to a hive mind.  If only those two people had been the head rude moviegoers, then all others would be defeated. 

 

But together, with your help we can fight against this monstrosity.  Eventually one of use will find the head and defeat it.  We will all rejoice on that day.  But today is also a day of victory because even though it was a just a little part of the monster that was defeated, the collective conscience now has something to fear.